The Unofficial Bollywood Drinking Game

Drink whenever….

Introductions and Subtitles

·         The movie is dedicated to the memory of anybody (twice if they show pictures of the honoree)

·         One of the actors in the credits has an overtly non-Indian name (Eddie, Gus, Angela)

·         Intermission!

·         The subtitles are totally illegible

·         There is a particularly awkward or confusing translation in the subtitles – resulting in poorly translated slang resulting in phrases like “you duffer,” or something grammatically nonsensical.

Storytelling Devices:

·         The first time you see a character, it is in slow motion

·         There is a “delayed reveal” – i.e. you only see the back of their head/body for a long time

·         Characters speak an entire sentence in English

·         There is a voiceover that echoes

·         A character has a dream sequence about another character (sequence must be entirely in the character’s imagination!)

·         Slow motion is used

·         “Creative editing” in a fight scene is particularly hilarious, or excessively loud punching sound-effects

·         A ghost or dead person appears (on screen or in voice-over) and speaks to a living character

·         There is a flashback (drink again if someone dies in the story)

·         More than ten years elapses in a single cut

·         There is a dramatic confrontation in a rainstorm – drink twice if thunder peals!

·         There is a quick zoom for dramatic effect

·         Alcohol has an unrealistically fast, or magically fun effect on someone. Drink again if the newly drunk person goes on to lead a musical number.

·         You actually see tears on someone’s face (twice if it’s a man!)

·         Someone displays disproportionate gravitas

Themes:

·         There is a plot point (or visual scene) which is a clear ripoff/homage to a previously released American movie.  Must be a specific movie, not a whole genre!

·         Someone makes a speech about or compliments someone on being truly Indian – or other flagrant displays of nationalism/propaganda

·         A saintly mother makes a sacrifice for or begs on behalf of her husband/children

·         A father ever threatens a suitor for his daughter

·        The grandmother is the understanding, cool person in the family

·         Someone makes fun of someone else for being a bumpkin from the village

·         You find out that there is a scheming /evil daughter or sister-in-law in a household (drink twice if it is a scheming brother/son-in-law)

·         A patriarch/matriarch declares that a family’s honor/good name/reputation is at stake, or has been violated in some way. (An individual’s honor does NOT count – it must be the family’s)

·         Something medically absurd/impossible occurs (and no actual magic is supposed to be involved)

·        Someone is placed in an arranged marriage against their will

·         Someone agrees to a marriage to save their family’s honor or reputation

Easter Eggs:

·         There is a discoteque scene! (Again if the word “disco” is said)

·         Amitabh does a pratfall!

·         There is a gang fight!

·        There is gratuitous product placement!

·        There is a wedding scene or you see anyone getting married (drink again if it is raining on the wedding)

·         A Sikh appears on screen (drink again if a caricature of another Indian minority appears)

·         There is anyone Caucasian in the movie (twice if they are evil, snarky, or smarmy), and the scene is meant to take place in India (i.e. random white people in a scene set in New York City do not count)

·         There is a puja, or another national holiday/festival like Diwali is celebrated

·         Krishna and Radha are mentioned together

·         A gangster has particularly impressive facial hair

·         You see any boys cross their arms and do the “unscrew the lightbulb” dance

·         A female slaps or punches anyone

·         Whenever you find yourself tearing up or crying

Musical Numbers:

·         A musical number begins!

·         A performer in a nightclub makes a particularly strange or gimmicky entrance

·         You see a “band” in the background  that is clearly not playing their instruments

·         Actors characters change outfits in the middle of a song/dance number

·         There is wind blowing on the actors from no discernable source (or, on only one of the actors in a scene and not the other)

·         A musical number takes place in the rain (or any other form of precipitation – snow, etc.)

·         Actors shift to a mountainside in the middle of their song (twice if the rest of the movie takes place nowhere near a mountain and it is wholly random)

·         A boy is singing to a girl who is trying to ignore him while walking ahead a la Michael Jackson’s “The Way you Make me Feel” video (drink again if she gives in to the boy before the end of the song)

·         Choreography or other part of a dance number is particularly awesome

·         The choreography involves a boy holding onto some portion of the girl’s clothing

·         A block of boys sing and dance to a block of girls who sing and dance back

·        When lip synching is particularly obvious and poor

Copyright Kirsten & Atul Mallik, © 2003